Gay Boy Problems

Dear Sarah:
There is this dude who I semi-sort of know, and since I’ve become gayer & gayer online, he’s all over my balls (figuratively of course). He retweets & favorites me all the time on Twitter, likes my Facebook Statuses, reblogs me on Tumblr, and likes all my photos on Instagram. Literally ALL OF THEM.
Most recently, he sent me reese’s candies that said “to Dyllan, love: (name omitted)” I don’t know what to do! I ignore him, yet continues to pursue me. I’m not interested whatsoever, and to be brutally honest, he’s really not cute, but he’s a nice guy. I don’t know how to tell him! Please tell me, what would Sarah Colonna do?


Dear Dyllan,

I don’t want to know what “gayer and gayer online” means exactly, because it makes me think about websites I don’t wish to think about.  But congratulations.

To the issue: Nothing is more of a turn off than a guy constantly “liking” things on Facebook…except all of the other stuff you mentioned.  Block him from all of your pages, and if you run into him in person just tell him you are no longer online at all because you read that using social media gives you cancer.  Then maybe he’ll cancel his accounts and you’ll have a win-win. 

Oh- and keep the Reese’s, but eat in small portions- it’s bikini season!


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